Republican Darts

Welcome to The Last Chance Democracy Café’s virtual Republican Darts Arcade!

As cafe regulars know, we have seven dartboards in the café’s lounge, each featuring the face of a particularly annoying conservative (trying to whittle down the possible candidates during the weekly selection process is a killer). At the end of each week, we count up the holes to determine the most dartworthy conservative.

We decided that it was time to create virtual Republican darts, as a public service, so that those unable to visit the café in person may, nevertheless, participate in this noble experiment in democracy. Now, you too can cast your vote for the cherished title of most dartworthy conservative simply by picking which of our three virtual dartboards you will play (yes, it’s also okay to play all three of them). New dartboards (with new conservative faces) will be rotated in on a regular basis, so as to include as many deserving candidates as possible.

We realize that keeping up will be a constant struggle: As we often say about the non-virtual dartboards here at the cafe, “So little time, and so many revolting conservatives yet to be done.”

Our first three dartworthy candidates are, admittedly, fairly obvious choices:

(1.) George W. Bush — What would the debut of virtual Republican darts be without the worst president in American history? Here are just a few of his many accomplishments in office: Starting a disastrous and utterly unnecessary war based upon lies; selling the government out to wealthy special interests; running up historic budget deficits to fund tax giveaways to the wealthy; questioning the patriotism of those who question his policies; instituting numerous dictatorship like power grabs. Yup, there’s no doubt about it: George W. Bush is one truly worthy candidate for the coveted title of most dartworthy conservative. So go ahead, see if you can wipe that virtual sneer off his virtual face by hitting him smack-dab in the middle of his virtual nose!

(2.) Tom DeLay – What can we say? The man who for years ran the House of Representatives of the United States Congress as though it were his own personal tinhorn dictatorship. He consistently broke House rules, stifled all meaningful debate and, oh yeah, was a two-bit crook to boot. Now, admittedly, a dart is probably not going to get the job done with Tom. It would likely take a stake driven through the heart to even get the attention of the Prince of Darkness. Still, we do what we can.

(3.) Jack Abramoff – Again, what can we say? Some scoundrels are so evil they deserve to be kicked even when they’re down. Abramoff (with a lot of help from his Republican friends) did more to junk American democracy than virtually anyone else alive. So let those darts fly!

4 Responses to “Republican Darts”

  1. famw Says:

    A finer bunch of coconuts you couldn’t have put up on a dartboard. NOT!!!!!!!!
    What a bunch of idiots these 3 are. Moe, Larry and Curly. NO, I can’t defile a great comedy team by calling these 3 The Three Stooges. What do you call these 3? Dumb, Dumberer and Dumbererest. Three greedy and treasonous so-called Americans I’ve ever seen. Lining their own pockets in the name of America. OIL, golf, graft, casinos, big business, the rich, did I leave anything out? That’s what they stand for. Maybe we can throw a lot of darts at BUSHY so we can deflate him before he deflates America.

  2. humpty d. Says:

    I watched the SOTU speech last night and when George Bush was talking about the reconstruction efforts in NOLA the camera panned to Gov. Blanco in the audience, the look on her face was priceless–she managed to convey disgust, sadness and disbelief even though she tried to keep her expression neutral.

    In my humble opinion the worst crime commited by this president is the ongoing destruction of the Constitution, starting with the suspension of habeus corpus for anyone Bush labels an “enemy combatant.”

    Reserve me a front row seat at the impeachment.

  3. ann Says:

    you give bush too much credit. where is darth cheney. the master behind the puppet?

  4. anicepick Says:

    I agree with Ann: Bush gets wayyy too much credit for having even a speck of a brain. George W. Boob only has a reptile brain which he uses to perform his sole function: sock puppet for the real power people. Chainsaw Cheney and Karl “The Troll” Rove are the two people who have their hands farthest up The Boob’s butt to manipulate his mouth. Those two should get most of the credit for the demolition of democracy in the United States of America. Not that either of the two want the credit. They’ll settle for millions of dollars in income (especially after they leave the White House) and personal protection paid for by our tax dollars. Dishonorable mention also has to be given to Grover Norquist, whose twisted logic on logic cannot be repeated in public by him without armed ninjas on each side of him, and dishonorable mention also has to be given to the brainwashed mainstream media which has uncritically adopted the neocon’s self-serving redefinition of “unbiased”. Both Grover Norquist and the mainstream media top George W. Boob in history’s Hall of Shame for their roles during this watershed transition in the history of democracy in the U.S.A.- with Cheney and Rove topping them all.

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