Start out traveling South on the Richard M. Nixon Freeway. Merge to the right, entering the George W. Bush Expressway. Don’t be surprised if you have a strong feeling of déjà vu, a sense that you just got off this same stretch of road. WARNING: The George W. Bush Expressway is a toll road. We can’t tell you exactly what the toll will be, but choosing to travel down that road will almost certainly end up costing you far more than you could ever have imagined.
After 3.5 miles, you will merge onto the Hypocrisy Highway, traveling west. One mile later, at Exit 43, you’ll see a sign for The Museum of Presidents, featuring the world famous “The Buck Stops Here Exhibit,” but don’t bother stopping: The buck is no longer on display, having been broken up and distributed among various low level officials on Jan. 20, 2001. Continue West on Hypocrisy for 1.7 miles, then take the Sanity Exit driving north. When you get to the intersection of Liberty and Justice, you’ll find the Cafe in the corner of the Progressive building. We’re on the first floor just past Democracy Plaza.